{"id":223,"date":"2001-12-19T00:00:11","date_gmt":"2001-12-19T08:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mycheese.dreamhosters.com\/?p=223"},"modified":"2001-12-19T00:00:11","modified_gmt":"2001-12-19T08:00:11","slug":"neighbourhood-watch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/?p=223","title":{"rendered":"Neighbourhood Watch"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s eleven minutes after midnight and my neighbours have been having a screaming match in the street for the past hour and a half. The police have been. Twice. The second time they blocked the road and spent a lot of time with the mad couple.  I&#8217;d just got back from work and had to drive across the kerb to get to my house.<\/p>\n<p>The police calmed everyone down and left.  Soon after, just now in fact, I heard a car rev up and then a loud crumping thump&#8211;the kind a vehicle collision makes. I look out of the window and see the silly bitch who&#8217;s been screaming&#8211;and I mean screaming liking a mental patient&#8211;get out of the car she&#8217;s just reversed at high speed into someone&#8217;s front door.  Both the back of the car and the old lady&#8217;s porch are smashed up pretty bad.<\/p>\n<p>Drivergirl&#8217;s friend\/sister was outside going, &#8220;What the fcuk are you trying to do?&#8221; Mad bitch replied, &#8220;I&#8217;m trying to kill myself. I don&#8217;t want to live with you any more. I&#8217;m going to kill myself.&#8221; Then she ran off towards the field at the end of the street repeating, &#8220;I&#8217;m going to kill myself.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The sister stood there in tears and various neighbours are now standing in the street phoning emergency services. I know exactly who they&#8217;re calling and what they&#8217;re saying because they are doing it at the tops of their voices.  No one seems able to talk in a normal voice.  The self-absorbed suicidal bitch looked to me like an attention seeking spoilt brat. Now the blue flashing lights are here again so I&#8217;m off to have another look.<\/p>\n<p>00:13 hrs:<br \/>\nNo less than four police cars this time blocking the whole road. She&#8217;s going down, I guess. If they find her. Shouldn&#8217;t be too hard the amount of hysterical shouting she does.<\/p>\n<p>00:21:<br \/>\nWe&#8217;ve got an ambulance too.<\/p>\n<p>God I hate these people. The stupid neighbours, that is. Anyone who screams hysterically like that should have just been sectioned&#8211;taken off to the loony bin and kept in a straightjacket. Now they&#8217;re wasting valuable police time&#8211;those are probably the only three cars in this area&#8211;and the ambulance crew&#8217;s night.<\/p>\n<p>For perspective, one ambulance covers a population of around 120,000 in this area. So while they&#8217;re dealing with this silly little twit, someone in serious trouble might be dying. It makes me really mad.<\/p>\n<p>Sheesh.<\/p>\n<p>00:24:<br \/>\nI hear sirens in town, so maybe there are other police cars on duty tonight after all. It&#8217;s that crazy time of year.<\/p>\n<p>Sheesh again.<\/p>\n<p>00:30:<br \/>\nWe&#8217;re down to two police cars now and no ambulance. Plus they&#8217;ve got the SUV out of the neigbour&#8217;s front door and off their garden. You already knew it was an SUV didn&#8217;t you? (Rhetorical question.)<\/p>\n<p>She was thinking that she&#8217;d fcuk with her boyfriend&#8217;s\/family&#8217;s head\/s and get some attention. I suspect she&#8217;s on something. And it&#8217;s not decaff.<\/p>\n<p>00:45:<br \/>\nThey all need to mellow out. They set fire to the stolen truck that was parked here last week and the fire brigage had to come and put it out.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re down to three police cars again and the neighbours can&#8217;t open their shed door because the wall is buckled inwards. Charming.<\/p>\n<p>No sign of loonytunes herself yet though.  Her cat&#8217;s around somewhere, going through trashcans, ripping binliners and strewing rubbish around the street.  Nice. They say owners grow to look like their pets, but tonight is a step beyond.<\/p>\n<p>00:58:<br \/>\nWe&#8217;re down to zero police cars and a group of old women standing around the neighbour&#8217;s broken front wall, gossiping and tutting. The neighbourhood witches.  They&#8217;re probably passing the eye from one to another so they can scry it all out better.  The SUV hasn&#8217;t moved, so I presume it&#8217;s fcukd. I&#8217;d laugh but it&#8217;s probably not the mad bich&#8217;s and no doubt belongs to someone else.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s started raining. End of excitement.  Bed time for the sane people.<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Next day (December 19th, morning):<br \/>\nThe builders came at the crack of dawn, fixed the neighbour&#8217;s door and cleared away the rubble. The SUV has vanished and all that remains is some broken (tail light) glass and a rather short wall. Plus some tutting old women.<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Two days later (December 21st):<br \/>\nI saw the aforementioned SUV today, parked in the loony neighbour&#8217;s drive. The rear is all smashed in with the window smashed and the driver&#8217;s door is buckled in too. It seems they successfully drove diagonally sideways into a low wall while they were reversing into someone else&#8217;s front door. Their insurance is going to be so extortionate that they may never drive again.<\/p>\n<p>It is right to laugh now. In fact, it&#8217;s unavoidable.<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Three days later (December 22nd):<br \/>\nToday I drove out to get a Christmas tree. I took a shortcut through a nearby council estate (read &#8216;housing project&#8217; for the US, although the houses are actually pretty decent). I drove past the run down shops and, lo and behold, there was the wrecked SUV&#8211;dumped there with &#8216;Police Aware&#8217; stickers all over it.<\/p>\n<p>The useless bags of siht who live near me have driven it a mile down the road and walked away from it, or more likely driven away in one of their other cars. No doubt they&#8217;ll claim the damage was done by joyriders and at some point they&#8217;ll torch it for the insurance. The fire brigade will be called out at the expense of local taxpayers (eg. me).<\/p>\n<p>The police will do nothing&#8211;I seriously doubt they&#8217;ll have even cross-checked their records to bother seeing whose car it is and how the damage occured. The fiasco the other night will have been written up as &#8216;a domestic disturbance&#8217; and buried in a file.<\/p>\n<p>The council will tow away the wreck, again at the local taxpayers&#8217; expense. I doubt those responsible actually pay any local council taxes with four adults living in a one bedroom apartment, all of whom seem to own a car (four in the drive).<\/p>\n<p>Moron woman will not only continue to scream at her boyfriend in the street and threaten suicide but also she&#8217;ll continue driving. Worse, having wasted a night of police time and caused considerable trouble and expense to the whole community, she&#8217;ll collect a big fat check from the insurance company.<\/p>\n<p>I doubt her insurance will be affected except for an annual increment. Meanwhile honest people&#8217;s local taxes and insurance premiums will go up to pay for thousands of similar scams across the country.<\/p>\n<p>These parasites make me sick.  It&#8217;s not so much the damage and the insurance scamming.  It&#8217;s the screaming at each other because they can&#8217;t communicate.  It&#8217;s the way they involve a whole street because no one matters except them.  It&#8217;s the inability to behave like adults; to take responsibility for their actions and respect other people.<\/p>\n<p>End of rant.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s eleven minutes after midnight and my neighbours have been having a screaming match in the street for the past hour and a half. The police have been. Twice. The second time they blocked the road and spent a lot of time with the mad couple. I&#8217;d just got back from work and had to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/?p=223\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Neighbourhood Watch<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-its-life-jim"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mycheeselovestuesdays.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}