It’s a grey miserable day in Manhattan. Raining all night. Drizzling down a bit more today. The clean sidewalks of my first morning are no more. Instead they are feature soggy bits of litter, some bin bags, cigarette butts and quite a few black umbrellas blown inside out.
Seems like the weather is reflecting my mood. I’ve had a really great time out here, marvelled at the sites, revelled in the sushi and seen some of the weirdest artwork I think I’ll ever see. It will take a whole separate post to describe let alone explain one piece in particular.
I’ve also experienced a few incredibly dark and dismal times, just like today’s weather. Sometimes travelling on your own is good and sometimes it’s no fun at all not having someone around to share things with. Sometimes you can set up a whole load of expectations for something and when it doesn’t happen, everything just seems to crumble like a house of cards. I’m definitely guilty of that.
Those dismal moments have taught me a couple of things, though. One is that no matter what happens, we keep breathing; the world doesn’t come to an end. Life goes on and we have to go with it. It’s not like anything dark here has been a matter of life and death. The other thing I’ve learned is that sometimes no one is to blame for the grey days; fate and chance can throw the dice for you.
My trouble (I know) is I can get carried away and forget that. I sometimes want things to happen in a certain way and feel I have to try and keep trying to make them happen no matter what. Kind of like the irresistable force coming up against the immovable object. My enthusiasm gets the better of me and I push things and people, although that pushing is never meant to be unkind.
I forgot that not everyone has the time, energy or desire to be excited just because I am. But I do know it’s thanks to my friends that I’m out here, on a limb, travelling and seeing new things. So the past couple of days haven’t felt like fire and light, more like damp and murky, and I’m searching for a positive way to end this post but the cliches all seem too worn out.
Whatever. Despite all this rambling, New York is definitely now a favorite place and my friends are just as valuable now as they were before I came. Maybe even more so. That must mean I found something positive after all.