And Another Thing

My dreams are getting really weird lately. Anyone else experiencing this? Is it to do with this comet, Ikeya-Zhang? You are sad sad people for asking that. Also, if you hate reading other people’s mad dreams, you might want to skip this post entirely.

One dream I’ve been having is that I’m riding a bike and it’s getting harder and harder to pedal and I think I’m really out of condition. Then I look down and see I have a flat tyre. So I try to keep riding it with the flat tyre but it’s painfully slow so I have to get off and push. Later I come out of the place where I was going and I get on my bike again, forgetting about the flat tyre and it’s the same thing. Hard work then realise then push. And all the time I’m thinking, I must get this bike fixed, it’s such a great bike…

Next night it’s this: I’ve replaced the windscreen wipers on my car. Except what I don’t realise is that the new wiper blade is really heavy the old stick thing that it attaches to has grown really weak and feeble. So it starts raining and I turn the wipers on and the stick thing can’t cope with the heavy new wiper and it buckles and I’m left trying to drive through the rain but I can’t see anything and I can’t clear the windscreen…

Finally I dream that I’m going to get a haircut. I can’t stand my hair any longer or any longer. It’s a mess so I go to the stylists and say I want it really short, so short I can just push my hand through it to tidy it up after washing it in the mornings and, um, really that’s it. So they get this electric razor out and buzz me and it’s not quite a crop but it’s getting there. Then they bring out the mirror and do that thing where they show you all round and you’re meant to make some kind of appreciate noise. But I can’t. Because one side of my head is completely bald and the long hair has been hiding it. And now I’ve got this half bald, half shorn look and there’s no way of making any of it look good.

No wait, that last one’s real.

Ha, not really. Fooled ya, suckah. I know you wanted to believe it because you’re strange, stranger than fiction, but I still have a full head of long hair and the ponytail. As for the dreams, it’s either the comet or the supermarket wine.