Write For Us, Dance, Skip, Amuse


I come back from George W’s utopia and am immediately struck down with lurgy. This means, horror of horrors, that I waste two sick days actually feeling sick and unable to do anything much except sleep, sweat and sup chicken soup. It nourishes me, precious. It nourishes me.

Honestly, I get so hacked off with being sick. It’s such a complete waste of time. And sick days are wasted on being sick when the sun is shining and there’s so much to do.

Two days later, when I come to, I realise that I have one weekend free in the next four when I’m not working and it’s next weekend. And I realise that if I want to get The Car finished, then that’s the weekend when I need to do pick-up shots.

These are shots to replace the ones which have lens flare in them or which don’t cover up nastiness which needs hiding from the public gaze. Nastiness, precious–we hates it. Fears it. Okay, we am not that bothered about it but if we is ever going to wins a prize for film makings it would be better if the nastiness wasn’t there.

I make some calls to check if the actor is available… he is… the location is available? It is… The equipment is available… oh, yes, precious. It is! But at a price. It is now 45 to set up the equipment and 45 to check it in. Plus tax. That’s on top of the 300 hire charge and the 45 extra for using a follow focus rig. And then there’s the insurance.

Yes, precious, they likes their insurances. Bastards. Gollum. That would be another 165, bringing us to a total of 600 just to hire the camera. Cheaply. For one day! Add on tax and we’re at 705. One third of the short film budget. Gollum gollum. No wonders peoples is shootings on videos, precious. They steals the precious budget!

I phone Four Corners, the film workshop who didn’t get back to me before, back in October. Will they are answer the phone this time? Yes. Yes, they do. Wow. I ask about using a camera on Saturday. Yes, standard 16mm. Yes, with a tripod, filters, etc etc. Prime lenses? Please. They say… 100. Guess who I’m hiring a camera from?

So, I’ve done my rough edit on Final Cut Pro and I know roughly what I want and therefore, need. Now I need to assemble the motley crew. But of course, they are all working/sick/abroad/unavailable. How hard can this be? Oh, very very hard. Hahaha. Film making? Just because you have a camera, doesn’t mean you’re making a film, oh no. Hahahahaha.

So far I have an actor, a location, the important stills which we used a prop which is incredibly lucky, a first AD, a cameraman, the car! Hooray! And also the production designer and… well, that’s about it. We have some lights, thanks to Simon (writer) and a camera and some stock but no sound kit or sound recordist, no camera assistant and no loader.

And the actor has broken his sunglasses. And they don’t make that style any more. And he wears them in every shot.

It’s going to be another one of those weeks.

Is it wrong that instead of worrying about what’s not immediately to hand, I think about how nice it would be to have decent catering and I wonder how I can set that up?