The Joy Of Socks

Laura took us out to a “downtown network” party tonight. Not so many people there. In fact, about five to start with. They had the coolest DJ, tho, and he had a projector. I’m thinking I’ll get a projector and set myself up as some kind of audio visual VJ guy. This is the third bright idea I’ve had this week. The others were filming back screen projections for worldwide video editors wanting shots of the USA and sock calligraphy.

More about sock calligraphy in a moment. First I’ve got to tell you about Larry. Larry isn’t his real name but we never found out what his real name was, so Larry is as good a name as any. Larry came over and chatted to us at the network party. We were drinking diet Faygo orange. Caffeine free. Sugar free. Grey Goose vodka free? I think not.

So Larry’s telling us he works in construction, supervising a lot, when he isn’t doing various other jobs. So I ask him, “Why is there always a white guy with the Mexicans? They do all the work while he hangs around. Is that the translator?” Larry laughs. So I guess it’s true, although I think he denied it. I followed up with, “Do you speak Spanish?” while Laura tried to hide in the leather sofa.

Larry was a really nice guy, tho, like most Americans I’ve run into. Very personable, easy to talk to. Apparently he used to run a motel here in Ann Arbor. Good idea, you might think with all the students in town and their parents visiting from all over. Good idea, too, with all the football games and other college sports. Except Larry only filled the rooms 30 days of the year. What about the rest of the time? Grey Goose asked: “Did you rent by the hour?” Larry laughed again. Larry’s our new friend, although we don’t know his name.

Maybe Larry will become the first owner of my new sock typeface, the one I’m working on in my head. When I go to bed at night, I often remember something I’m supposed to do the next day. I can’t be bothered to go and find a pen so I make an initial out of the socks I’ve dropped on the floor. Like yesterday, it was “P” for “paint the wall where Sammy dented it” and “make Postcards for Cinema Slam”. This gave me the idea to make a typeface based on socks.

Or perhaps it could be based on all kinds of underwear. You could easily make a B out of a pair of knickers, or an O if you made the leg holes overlap. I think ‘Underpants’ would be a good name for this typeface. It could have variations too, like Underpants Bold and Underpants Light. I bet Underpants Black would be popular with deviant typographers. Or if it was just socks, then we could have Socks Extended and Socks Condensed. Laura rolls her eyes. I don’t think she’s convinced of my genius. Well, we’ll just see, won’t we.

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