Whatever.

I come back from George W’s utopia and am immediately struck down with lurgy. This means, horror of horrors, that I waste two sick days actually feeling sick and unable to do anything much except sleep, sweat and sup chicken soup. It nourishes me, precious. It nourishes me.

Honestly, I get so hacked off with being sick. It’s such a complete waste of time. And sick days are wasted on being sick when the sun is shining and there’s so much to do.

Two days later, when I come to, I realise that I have one weekend free in the next four when I’m not working and it’s next weekend. And I realise that if I want to get The Car finished, then that’s the weekend when I need to do pick-up shots.

These are shots to replace the ones which have lens flare in them or which don’t cover up nastiness which needs hiding from the public gaze. Nastiness, precious–we hates it. Fears it. Okay, we am not that bothered about it but if we is ever going to wins a prize for film makings it would be better if the nastiness wasn’t there.

I make some calls to check if the actor is available… he is… the location is available? It is… The equipment is available… oh, yes, precious. It is! But at a price. It is now £45 to set up the equipment and £45 to check it in. Plus tax. That’s on top of the £300 hire charge and the £45 extra for using a follow focus rig. And then there’s the insurance.

Yes, precious, they likes their insurances. Bastards. Gollum. That would be another £165, bringing us to a total of £600 just to hire the camera. Cheaply. For one day! Add on tax and we’re at £705. One third of the short film budget. Gollum gollum. No wonders peoples is shootings on videos, precious. They steals the precious budget!

I phone Four Corners, the film workshop who didn’t get back to me before, back in October. Will they are answer the phone this time? Yes. Yes, they do. Wow. I ask about using a camera on Saturday. Yes, standard 16mm. Yes, with a tripod, filters, etc etc. Prime lenses? Please. They say… £100. Guess who I’m hiring a camera from?

So, I’ve done my rough edit on Final Cut Pro and I know roughly what I want and therefore, need. Now I need to assemble the motley crew. But of course, they are all working/sick/abroad/unavailable. How hard can this be? Oh, very very hard. Hahaha. Film making? Just because you have a camera, doesn’t mean you’re making a film, oh no. Hahahahaha.

So far I have an actor, a location, the important stills which we used a prop which is incredibly lucky, a first AD, a cameraman, the car! Hooray! And also the production designer and… well, that’s about it. We have some lights, thanks to Simon (writer) and a camera and some stock but no sound kit or sound recordist, no camera assistant and no loader.

And the actor has broken his sunglasses. And they don’t make that style any more. And he wears them in every shot.

It’s going to be another one of those weeks.

Is it wrong that instead of worrying about what’s not immediately to hand, I think about how nice it would be to have decent catering and I wonder how I can set that up?

Panel 1:
Woke up. Got dressed in superhero costume then regular street clothes over the top.

Panel 2:
Checked email. Transfered money needed to pay credit cards from checking account to savings account.

Panel 3:
Tidied up apartment in a vague way by moving bits of paper from one place to another.

Panel 4:
Lucy came round, watched football and bought some of my furniture in preparation for having the property valued and selling up.

Panel 5:
Went out for fish and chips.

Panel 6:
Marvelled at the special Saturday spectacle of minor celebrities and has-beens embarrassing themselves on national television while other minor celebrities provided mindless commentary.

Panels 7-11:
Went to work and drank Coca Cola, symbol of Free West. Music with a catchy bassline came on in the background. Hordes of dancers appeared out of nowhere and we broke out into a spontaneous performance for five minutes in strongly backlit artificial rain.

Panels 12-20:
Snuck out and saved the city during a pre-recorded item.

Panel 21:
Went home and slept the sleep of The Just.

Panel 22:
Skin tight dreams of superheroines in peril and satisfying out of body experience which editor replaced with angst-filled introspection and a Doctor Strange chapter full of psychic robots in final published book.

Panel 23:
Cool David Bowie soundtrack over end credits.

Fin

Happy Birthday to me!

Wrote my resignation letter this morning. Three copies–one to my line manager, one to head of department and one to head of personel/human resources–all in the post and on their way. They have a three month notice period so I’ll be leaving at the end of May. It feels good. It feels a little bit scary but not much. Yes, I’m that confidant in my own abilities. Still, it’s a step into the unknown.

Bye bye BBC.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Overheard while visiting the shops in St Albans today: “It makes you fink what the sort of fing there is.”

It’s wrong isn’t it? It’s wrong on so many levels. Among other things it says, subtext, that this woman has had no conceivable benefit from an education yet here she is living in St Albans where house prices are £180k for a two bedroom flat and moving rapidly into the £250-£300k bracket for a house. How does she make enough money to afford this while using so little brain? Where am I going wrong?

Hertfordshire County Council sent me a newspaper today. Once I’d finished weeping with joy at their considerateness in keeping me informed about how they’re spending my money by spending more of my money, I glanced at it. “Most people we surveyed,” it baldly stated, “would be happy to pay more local taxes to maintain services.” So they’re putting local taxes up. By at least 15 percent.

The question I have to ask myself is why? Why does it cost the council an extra 15 percent to provide the same services as last year?

Yes, the *same* services. They were clear–“in order to maintain services at the present level we would have to increase council tax by more than 15 percent.” When inflation is around two percent and salary increases are at the same level, why does it cost the local authority such a staggeringly large amount more than it costs everyone else?

“As we went to press we had news of the Government’s provisional funding which left Hertfordshire with one of the lowest grant increases of any county,” wrote the author of this monkeybusiness. Yes, they are getting a massive grant from central government. And it’s being increased. But not increased enough for the wanton wastage which HCC has got in mind.

As the woman said, “It makes you fink what the sort of fing there is.”

I had to buy two large bars of chocolate just to maintain my equilibrium.